Category Archives: Speedy G

So far…

so good…

It’s been a fairly smooth opening to the school year.  Watch, tomorrow will be a horrible meltdown now that I’ve put that out in the universe.

I have a lot of feisty munchkins, but so far, no major meltdowns.  Much to my relief, I actually like my homeroom quite a lot.  There are way more boys than girls, which changes the atmosphere considerably.  The boys are super “little boy”-ish this year – a welcome change from the “tough guy” crap of years past.  They are also bright and quick and actually have some skills.  Most of them seem to already realize that Texas is not a continent, and I’ll just call that a small miracle.

There’s a new favorite already…  He’s another tiny little boy, (remember Twitch? Goofball? Speedy G?) and he’s super naughty.  The Almighty Administration actually warned me about him and I believe they used the words “spawned from the devil”.  I’ve always been drawn to the bad boys, and this one is a squirrelly, slippery, sneaky little weasel who has already learned to charm people but has tantrums when it doesn’t work.  He is also a master-distracter in training.  In the middle of a writing mini-lesson he pipes up with “Miss!  What do you know about the Bermuda Triangle?” as if he expects me to drop my overhead marker and exclaim, “My! What an amazing question!  I know quite a bit about the Bermuda Triangle, let me tell you all about it!” thus rescuing him from having to actually write something. Much to his dismay I refused to skip a beat, and he did indeed produce some writing. 

These little attempts at distraction happen 15-20 times in a 90 minute class, and I’m sure he’s wondering when he’s going to wear me down.  The thing is, he’s a button pusher, and he knows it, but so do I.  He is trying to find my breaking point and I am simply going to remain as calm as possible until HE breaks. Ok, that and I am going to just be stranger than he is.  That’s the plan anyways in my current zen-like state.  That, and I am going to love the hell out of him (in totally appropriate ways obviously) because he seems to have no actual parents.  If he does, nobody can find them. If I have melted down completely by mid-October I’m going to need somebody to please remind me to re-read this post and stay strong. For now though, the strategy is working quite well.  He tried a different mode of attack today and told me I was an illegal alien and that I should be sent to prison.  I’m sure he was expecting a lecture of some sort about rudeness and accusation and not being judgemental but instead, again much to his dismay, I simply winked, held out my wrists and told him he was welcome to make a citizens arrest.  He was totally confused.

When he’s not attempting to be a pest, he’s actually really darling.  He came leaping into the room the other day after lunch, bounced right up to me, stretched out his armed and crowed “Honey! I’m hooooome!”.  Like I said, he’s my new favorite.  It gets better.  I truly wish I could tell you his real name because it’s HYSTERICAL.  It’s an adjective.  A fantastically amusing adjective because it is the antithesis of his personality.  From here on out I am going to call him…Glorious.



Filed under Glorious, goofball, Speedy G, Twitch

Catching Up

Wow, so many things are happening, so little time to post about them!

1) I am FINALLY sleeping better.  This has improved my mood immeasurably.

2) Hilarious staff problems at school.  Ever work with someone who is so socially inept that it’s funny?  That’s where it’s at.  It’s almost painful to watch as the situation spirals out of control.  Today there was a huge screaming match in the hallway between this person and another teacher (although, the other teacher isn’t exactly on the straight and narrow either…) and it was just ridiculous.  I almost never see the Almighty Administration mad at the teachers, but boy-oh-boy they were MAD today!

 3) I so totally turned 30 this week!  My adorable little peanuts threw me a HUGE party with balloons, 3 kinds of cake, pizza, and they made me a crown!  Love love love love love LOVE my kiddos right now!  Speedy G gave me a card that had me in stitches.  Last week he asked me how old I was going to be, and I responded with my usual “How old do you think I’ll be”.  He said 50.  50!! I squirted him with my water bottle and acted like I was having a heart attack, pretty entertaining when they highball it to that extreme.  His card is below.

Speedy G card

So funny!!!

4) I can’t wait for winter break!  I’m going back to my hometown with the Beau to relax, ski, and refresh.  I could not be more excited about this!

 *Apparently I’m in the future?  I can’t seem to get the date/time options to work correctly…*


Filed under Speedy G, stoopid adults, Why I heart middle school

Gotta Do The ‘Do

Speedy G is one of my secret favorites. I know I’ve mentioned this, but the kid is so small and sweet, you just can’t help but to adore him.

One of his notable features is his hair. It’s jet-black and he wears it all slicked up and back. It bounces around and I tend to tease him that I am going to rumple it up and ruin his chances with the ladies.

In any case, the students came up from lunch today soaking wet from running around in the snow/sleet for all of recess. Why they let them out in that weather is beyond me, but that’s a different tangent.

Speedy G’s hair was soaked and it was the first time I’ve ever seen it flat on his head. I made some sort of comment about how I’d never seen it like that and how he looked totally different without it sticking up all over the place. He seemed a bit disgruntled and just ignored me.

We went back to work and Speedy G got up shortly after class began and took the pass. Just as a matter of record, I don’t really have a system for the bathroom pass other than, if you need to go, just get up and go. If a kid goes all the time, or takes too long, we sit down and have a chat about how the bathroom pass isn’t for wandering around in the hallway, but otherwise I just let them do their thing. It’s kind of like my gum plan, and it works pretty well.

Speedy almost never leaves the room during class, so after about ten minutes I was starting to wonder what had happened. A moment later he came strutting back into class.

It took only a split-second for me to notice that A) he was no longer in a foul mood, B) he was holding a brush and C) his hair was all spiky again.

“Speedy, did you leave class to go to the bathroom just to fix your hair?!” I asked.

“Miss! I needed to get my mojo back!” he said with a grin.

I couldn’t help but laugh for a minute because he just seemed so proud of himself and really, to hear someone that’s only 4 ft tall talk about his “mojo” (and how it comes from having perfectly styled hair) is highly entertaining in my book.


Filed under Speedy G, Why I heart middle school

Pizza Personification

I have a new favorite. I really didn’t think it was possible that I would ever adore a student as much as I adore Goofball, but apparently, it is. Speedy G is easily the sweetest and most hilarious student I have currently! On Friday I had a pizza party for my homeroom because they won the September ‘Homework Challenge’ – basically the class that has a higher percentage of homework handed in gets a prize at the end of the month.

In any case, after everyone was done eating the kids were just hanging out and I was wrapping up the leftover slices. Speedy G came up and asked, “May I?”

I assumed he wanted to eat the piece of pizza.

I watched him place the slice on the table, and peel off a few circles of pepperoni. He then proceeded to draw smiley faces on them with a magic marker. With a look of sheer delight he came back over to me and introduced them as “A couple of happy little pepperonis! Isn’t that like personification Miss?”

I almost couldn’t answer him I was laughing so hard. Partly because he drew on the meat, but also because we are in fact reviewing personification.

It is exactly this kind of kooky behavior that makes me want to teach middle school forever!


Filed under Speedy G


I swear, 7th graders are shrinking. I have some teeny-tiny little kids this year! I suppose there are always a few really little ones that haven’t begun the growth spurt yet, but I have a whole slew in my current classes. It almost makes me feel like I’m teaching 4th grade…

One of the current peanuts cracks me up. We’ll call him Speedy G since that’s who he sounds like when he speaks. He’s super tiny but his personality is GIGANTIC. He has so much energy, is always smiling, very dramatic, and totally gets my sarcasm. The other day, Ms. Science was in my room while we were doing some independent reading. He was doing everything he could to not read. He wanted a drink, needed a new book, had to tie his shoe, asked to change his seat, told me his head hurt, claimed he finished his book…you name it, he tried to use it as an excuse. Ms. Science was completely amused and decided that while it would be a shame if he were illiterate, he could probably get by on his looks and charm…

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Filed under Speedy G, students