Hopeful Student: “So Miss, if the world ends Saturday, we won’t have to take that test next week!”
Dream Crushing Teacher: “Um, if the rapture happens, I will be up at the pearly gates with #2 pencils and a stack of tests, so you’d better carry your study sheet in your pocket all weekend.”
***
“Miss, so…what would happen if you sneezed, farted, burped and hiccupped all at the same time? Could you like, die from that?”
****
During a fire drill – “Dang! Why can’t these things ever be scheduled during Math!?!?!?”
***
I had just given a student a stern talk about plagiarism. I gave him a choice between coming up at lunch for a few days and letting me help show him how to put things in his own words, or failing. When I sent him back to his seat another student leaned over, gave me a thumbs up and said “Excellent speech Miss!”
Ms. M.'s Apples 
Funny!!! I wish I thought of that rapture response!
I love it! I love it all.
I’m kinda with the fire drill kid. I always wondered why they had to happen during my favorite classes and not math. Though if I could remember all the things kids I’ve babysat have said, well, I’d be a comedic genius and rich to boot.
HEE!! thanks for the giggles! your kids are hilarious.