"Refuses to spend all weekend with a #2 pencil"

Grading Season. It’s my least favorite time of the year, and unfortunately, it happens quarterly. I can’t figure out why it’s so difficult to get some sort of computerized system that would allow me to import my grades straight from my gradebook software! I’m sure someone has invented it, my school just hasn’t caught on yet and because of that, I am stuck filling out hundreds of little scantron bubbles. It’s like retribution for being part of a system that makes kids fill out zillions of the insidious little things over the course of their education.

Perhaps the most tedious aspect of this chore is filling in the pre-programmed comments. The academic comment choices are bad enough with things like “Far below (or “Approaching” or “Meeting” or “Exceeding”) standards in reading and analyzing literature”, but the ones that really get me are the behavior choices.

Since I teach 7th grade, I utilize the behavior comment section very liberally. Sometimes the parent cares more about this than the academic parts. Some of them say more or less what I want:

“Always completes work on time”
“Has difficulty following directions”
“Excellent class participation”
“Too much socializing in class”

Then there are the comments that I’m sure someone has used at some point, but which I find highly amusing. I realize that theses two are course specific, but still, they made me giggle:

“Often forgets to bring mouthpiece to class” This makes me think of the time (timeS perhaps?) when I “accidentally” lost my retainer at lunch during 7th grade…sorry Mom, I now realize how pricey that hateful device was!

“Refuses to sing when asked to” Really? Last night when I was bubbling away after consuming a few alcoholic beverages and I was very tempted to insert this one a few times just for kicks.

Unfortunately, many times I have need for a comment that doesn’t appear on the available list. as a matter of fact, I have two students who I could definitely use something like “Refuses to STOP singing when asked to”. I kid you not, the musical phenomenon is large in my classroom this year and while I usually don’t mind, it’s distracting for other during independent reading time.

Other comments I wish I could use include:
“Keeps sticking gum on the underside of desk” (I did not have this problem last year…)
“Interacts inappropriately with opposite sex during class time”
“Can’t keep his hands to himself”
“Refuses to stop making ‘swords’ out of markers”
“Should learn to blow nose rather than snorting and snivelling during class time”
“Needs to be supervised while dressing for school, clean clothes are necessary”
OR
“Needs to be supervised while dressing for school, hoochie belly shirts are inappropriate for 13 year-olds

I could do this all day, but I have bubbles to fill in.

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5 Comments

Filed under teacher stuff

5 responses to “"Refuses to spend all weekend with a #2 pencil"

  1. 17 (really 15) more years

    What galls me is how they FORCE you to do this over the weekend. Our marking period always ended October 31st. ALWAYS- like since the beginning of time. When we got our scan sheets, suddenly the COMPLETED sheets were due October 29th! We got some double talk about how the marking period always ended the last Friday in October (news to me). Meanwhile, it took them a week to run the error reports, which I am deliberately holding back in protest.

    BTW- #148 “too much socializing in class” is my favorite too.

  2. Mimi

    I left my at school and am not looking foward to filling them out at ALL. I think you should invent that software by the way…

    I would love to have a comment that says, “sometimes is really annoying” or “needs more attention from their parents” .

    How about that??

  3. J

    hey, ours were due last week! and we don’t have one that says socializing too much–i could really use that one!

    one of my favorites is “does not show self-control.”

    good luck getting them done!! 🙂

  4. 17 (really 15) more years

    How about these for comments:

    Since our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
    His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
    I would not allow this student to breed.

    FYI Jules- everybody has the same report card comment codes, had did you miss # 148?

  5. universe has always been interesting. I just like almost every part of it. Although universe encompasses a big world. I don’t mind studying every single part of it .

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