Grading Season. It’s my least favorite time of the year, and unfortunately, it happens quarterly. I can’t figure out why it’s so difficult to get some sort of computerized system that would allow me to import my grades straight from my gradebook software! I’m sure someone has invented it, my school just hasn’t caught on yet and because of that, I am stuck filling out hundreds of little scantron bubbles. It’s like retribution for being part of a system that makes kids fill out zillions of the insidious little things over the course of their education.
Perhaps the most tedious aspect of this chore is filling in the pre-programmed comments. The academic comment choices are bad enough with things like “Far below (or “Approaching” or “Meeting” or “Exceeding”) standards in reading and analyzing literature”, but the ones that really get me are the behavior choices.
Since I teach 7th grade, I utilize the behavior comment section very liberally. Sometimes the parent cares more about this than the academic parts. Some of them say more or less what I want:
“Always completes work on time”
“Has difficulty following directions”
“Excellent class participation”
“Too much socializing in class”
Then there are the comments that I’m sure someone has used at some point, but which I find highly amusing. I realize that theses two are course specific, but still, they made me giggle:
“Often forgets to bring mouthpiece to class” This makes me think of the time (timeS perhaps?) when I “accidentally” lost my retainer at lunch during 7th grade…sorry Mom, I now realize how pricey that hateful device was!
“Refuses to sing when asked to” Really? Last night when I was bubbling away after consuming a few alcoholic beverages and I was very tempted to insert this one a few times just for kicks.
Unfortunately, many times I have need for a comment that doesn’t appear on the available list. as a matter of fact, I have two students who I could definitely use something like “Refuses to STOP singing when asked to”. I kid you not, the musical phenomenon is large in my classroom this year and while I usually don’t mind, it’s distracting for other during independent reading time.
Other comments I wish I could use include:
“Keeps sticking gum on the underside of desk” (I did not have this problem last year…)
“Interacts inappropriately with opposite sex during class time”
“Can’t keep his hands to himself”
“Refuses to stop making ‘swords’ out of markers”
“Should learn to blow nose rather than snorting and snivelling during class time”
“Needs to be supervised while dressing for school, clean clothes are necessary”
“Needs to be supervised while dressing for school, hoochie belly shirts are inappropriate for 13 year-olds“
I could do this all day, but I have bubbles to fill in.