Student Clothes

Goofball’s grandmother must spend a fortune on clothing for him. That kid is so accident prone it’s unbelievable and it seems like every time they come back from lunch he has either damaged, stained, or lost some article of clothing. Usually it’s grass or mud stains. During his bloody nose stage he must have ruined at least 8 or 9 shirts. On Wednesday he came up to homeroom from lunch carrying his uniform shirt and therefore completely bare-chested.

“Put your shirt back on!” I barked at him, “Where do you think you are!?”

“But Miss! My shirt got dirty and I don’t want to wear it anymore!”

“I don’t care if you were rolling around in mud, you will not spend the rest of the day looking like that!”

“But Miss..”

ZZZPPTTT!!! Put your shirt ON! NOW!”

He grumbles and groans as he starts to pull on his shirt. I immediately see that he wasn’t kidding, his shirt was covered in something.

“Goofball, what exactly happened to your shirt?”

“It just got dirty.”

I didn’t even have to ask again because at that moment the unmistakable smell of vomit hit me. Apparently some kid had thrown-up on him from behind. It was terrible! I have no idea why he didn’t just tell me that in the first place, I would never had asked him to put it back on! I had just assumed it was the usual soda/pizza/grass/dirt stains that he usually comes in with. I gave him a plastic bag to put it in and we got him an extra shirt from the office.

Friday, as the kids come in the room after math class, I noticed Goofball was bright red and being laughed at by a number of people. I raised my eyebrows at the group and immediately seven or eight kids started shrieking that Goofball had ripped his pants when sitting down at his desk. One of the drawbacks to sagging your pants to your knees is that it puts a lot of strain on the seam of the crotch and backside. His pants had about a 6 inch tear that was impossible to hide and in a fairly unflattering location. I gave him the stapler and told him to go fix them in the bathroom.

I can only imagine this is going to be happening more frequently as it gets warmer and they start playing sports again…



Filed under goofball

2 responses to “Student Clothes

  1. Flora

    I love how the “characters” (student pseudonyms) develop and that we get to read about them all year.

  2. Proverbs16three

    that was hilarious. i wish i’d know about your blog earlier!! Sometimes we need a good laugh.

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